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Disappointed, really? [It's more of her musing over the statement than asking about it, as she approaches and takes the seat.] ... actually, I suppose I should have expected that.
I honestly don't understand you, though. That's not meant to be an insult, it's more... [How had she put it to Naoto?] It's difficult to reconcile some of your different actions.
[The most obvious example, of course, is the way he seems to relish killing people for this job, and yet he's calm and reasonable enough to talk to people like this in his office. But on the other hand, Ferid did point out that he was more forthcoming when you were interesting in your questions. The killing angle is obvious -- what's a more interesting way to approach this?]
For example... what I brought up last week, the rules. You're not someone who enjoys being bored. So, even considering your role? It still seems strange that you'd expect us to fall in line with them.
[The noise he makes is brief, almost noncommittal short of the way that it's pitched-up at the end; he's considering it, anyway, it's a valid question. Though it's not that he doesn't have an answer, per se; he just has to consider wording it, really.]
All games have rules - that's just the nature of games themselves. It's not much of a game if there isn't a set way to play it...or a few set ways, maybe. You get the idea, though.
But that thing you've said, about limiting the outcomes - that's why I don't add or change rules if I can help it. I'm actually not trying to bend you to my will or anything. I'm here to oversee the game and make sure it's played and make sure you guys play fair, but I'm actually not going to force you to do solely what I want you to do. It defeats the point, yeah?
[She concedes,] That is true enough. The only rules you've added... well, they actually clarified more options. Even if those ones are more of a last resort.
[AZ is still casting a shadow on her heart.]
... ... ...
I know there are other ways this could be done. You've said as much yourself, and the others have mentioned that there are even other games going on. That to some degree, this was your own design.
But... [She pauses.] If you'll humor me for a moment. If you had total control, absolute freedom. If it wasn't just a job. Would there be other things you'd change?
[In other words, does he think this is a necessary evil, or just necessary? But you know. In a way he might actually respond to.]
[He leans forward over the desk at that, abandoning the sketching he's been doing in favor of propping his chin up in one hand and toying with the pen idly between the fingers of his left.]
Absolute freedom...?
[He repeats it slowly, like it's something he doesn't quite understand.]
I don't... How do you mean?
[...Sometimes it takes him a second to comprehend what's being asked; this looks like one of those times.]
Is this really so hard of a thing to grasp? She didn't think so, but... on the other hand, it's interesting that he picked up on those words. It's the only absolute she believes in, the dream she's always aspiring towards.]
Look. You're answering to a higher set of rules, right? Well, what if you weren't? What if your employer said, "Do whatever you want," instead? That kind of freedom.
[He just...keeps playing with the pen at that, really.]
It's not even worth thinking about - that sort of freedom is something I'm never going to have, just because of the way things are here. The rules can't be changed, and challenging them is a bad idea.
...And I've been asked before if the lack of agency pisses me off, and it doesn't, before we go there.
[This is pretty deeply concerning, but it is starting to explain a lot about why he was so adamant about all this. And for a change, she can understand it extremely well.
It has shades of the same mindset she had while she was part of the cult. You killed and proved your value, or you died. Which she almost did, when she rejected them.]
... ... ...
I apologize if this is an abrupt change of subject, but... a long time ago, you told me that we weren't on my world. Since then, though, I've wondered about something else.
Are we on your world?
[It's not actually a change in subject. But you never know -- maybe he won't realize why she'd be curious about that.]
[She's taken aback, but not for the reasons one might expect.
That had actually been an early theory she had, something to explain Juri's strange mix of commitment to his job and... lethargy, maybe? Towards everything else. But when she had been pressing him for more information about his level of control, and he clarified his role as someone who was not their friend, she discarded it.
And picked it up again briefly, because of things Luca and Mozu had said, and then discarded it all over again when he started to show signs of his real sadism.
And now here it is again, the return of the wayward truth. If she had stuck to her guns and asked about it anyway, they could've been on much different terms for this whole game.]
But unlike us, you've left this facility, I presume?
[This is the rabbit hole, all right. Each answer is just leading to a pile of more questions -- Were you in a game? Did you lose? Did you WIN? Are you still playing it? Has anyone actually left this place, or is our grand prize a great big lie?
She sorts through them all, and finds the one that's both interesting and least likely to cause more internalized screaming.]
But... then... where's your cat? I'm sure someone said you had a pet cat...?
[So they'll have to keep an eye out for this cat. Jean knows more than enough about cats to know that they're great at getting into places they don't belong.
... although...]
Wait, no, I don't see. How does a cat end up in a place like this facility? I have a hard time imagining one as a competitor in this game.
[Something seems to strike him vaguely oddly about that; it's easily dismissed, the sort of thing that looks more like a mental blip than anything, nothing too bad. But still.]
[Jean finds the answer equally odd, but she doesn't dismiss it. There's a question she badly wants to ask, but somehow, she's guessing it's too far out of the scope of the game for him to talk about. Instead, she muses about it aloud.]
... it's strange to think of someone waking up here for any other reason, though. Maybe it's because I still don't know what this game is for or how it fits into the grand scheme of things, but if all these people are being brought in for this...
Even with how many have been getting killed, there's still more than a few to start pitching job offers to.
Unless these weren't always a part of the grand plan?
It's far from my only theory, but it's as good as any of the others.
Even if that's not the point of this, I can't imagine everyone leaves here in the end. If they wanted to stay, asking for that would be a reasonable request, wouldn't it?
[It doesn't sound like she's looking for an answer on that, because she already has it. Naoto brought up last week that Juri had made that very offer to her.]
And I imagine it's as true here as anywhere -- those who don't work, don't eat. If someone were to stay here after the game, you'd probably have to find a job for them to perform as well, right? Why not running a game?
... why do I feel like the answer to why he wouldn't is because, as you said before, this isn't supposed to be punishment? His creativity seems like it would have the potential to be... well... dangerous.
[Just how dangerous? Well, she'd see that the very next day. For now, though, her attention turns back to the pile of stuffed animals that he crafted. What was that saying about idle hands?]
So you have some people who run the games, and some who play them... [... hmm.] Is it just our group, or is there something that splits the two off -- something that'd make it so you'd also never see a potential judge as a player?
[Because she might have a hunch on what that is, given their argument. The one where Ferid took the side against her -- something understandable, given his distance from humanity.]
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I honestly don't understand you, though. That's not meant to be an insult, it's more... [How had she put it to Naoto?] It's difficult to reconcile some of your different actions.
[The most obvious example, of course, is the way he seems to relish killing people for this job, and yet he's calm and reasonable enough to talk to people like this in his office. But on the other hand, Ferid did point out that he was more forthcoming when you were interesting in your questions. The killing angle is obvious -- what's a more interesting way to approach this?]
For example... what I brought up last week, the rules. You're not someone who enjoys being bored. So, even considering your role? It still seems strange that you'd expect us to fall in line with them.
If we did that, wouldn't it limit the outcomes?
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All games have rules - that's just the nature of games themselves. It's not much of a game if there isn't a set way to play it...or a few set ways, maybe. You get the idea, though.
But that thing you've said, about limiting the outcomes - that's why I don't add or change rules if I can help it. I'm actually not trying to bend you to my will or anything. I'm here to oversee the game and make sure it's played and make sure you guys play fair, but I'm actually not going to force you to do solely what I want you to do. It defeats the point, yeah?
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[AZ is still casting a shadow on her heart.]
... ... ...
I know there are other ways this could be done. You've said as much yourself, and the others have mentioned that there are even other games going on. That to some degree, this was your own design.
But... [She pauses.] If you'll humor me for a moment. If you had total control, absolute freedom. If it wasn't just a job. Would there be other things you'd change?
[In other words, does he think this is a necessary evil, or just necessary? But you know. In a way he might actually respond to.]
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Absolute freedom...?
[He repeats it slowly, like it's something he doesn't quite understand.]
I don't... How do you mean?
[...Sometimes it takes him a second to comprehend what's being asked; this looks like one of those times.]
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Is this really so hard of a thing to grasp? She didn't think so, but... on the other hand, it's interesting that he picked up on those words. It's the only absolute she believes in, the dream she's always aspiring towards.]
Look. You're answering to a higher set of rules, right? Well, what if you weren't? What if your employer said, "Do whatever you want," instead? That kind of freedom.
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It's not even worth thinking about - that sort of freedom is something I'm never going to have, just because of the way things are here. The rules can't be changed, and challenging them is a bad idea.
...And I've been asked before if the lack of agency pisses me off, and it doesn't, before we go there.
[...Well, then.]
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It has shades of the same mindset she had while she was part of the cult. You killed and proved your value, or you died. Which she almost did, when she rejected them.]
... ... ...
I apologize if this is an abrupt change of subject, but... a long time ago, you told me that we weren't on my world. Since then, though, I've wondered about something else.
Are we on your world?
[It's not actually a change in subject. But you never know -- maybe he won't realize why she'd be curious about that.]
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It's the only world I've known. So yeah, I'd say it's mine.
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The only one...? Well, did you grow up here, or did you wake up here like we did, or something else?
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[...yeah.]
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That had actually been an early theory she had, something to explain Juri's strange mix of commitment to his job and... lethargy, maybe? Towards everything else. But when she had been pressing him for more information about his level of control, and he clarified his role as someone who was not their friend, she discarded it.
And picked it up again briefly, because of things Luca and Mozu had said, and then discarded it all over again when he started to show signs of his real sadism.
And now here it is again, the return of the wayward truth. If she had stuck to her guns and asked about it anyway, they could've been on much different terms for this whole game.]
But unlike us, you've left this facility, I presume?
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[This is the rabbit hole, all right. Each answer is just leading to a pile of more questions -- Were you in a game? Did you lose? Did you WIN? Are you still playing it? Has anyone actually left this place, or is our grand prize a great big lie?
She sorts through them all, and finds the one that's both interesting and least likely to cause more internalized screaming.]
But... then... where's your cat? I'm sure someone said you had a pet cat...?
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I don't know where she is. I haven't seen her in a long time; I didn't bring her in here with me.
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[So they'll have to keep an eye out for this cat. Jean knows more than enough about cats to know that they're great at getting into places they don't belong.
... although...]
Wait, no, I don't see. How does a cat end up in a place like this facility? I have a hard time imagining one as a competitor in this game.
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[Back to stonewalling for the time being, looks like. Sorry about that, Jean.]
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[All right. Come on, Jean. Back to the real issues.]
Were you ever part of a game yourself, before you started this job?
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I wasn't.
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... it's strange to think of someone waking up here for any other reason, though. Maybe it's because I still don't know what this game is for or how it fits into the grand scheme of things, but if all these people are being brought in for this...
Even with how many have been getting killed, there's still more than a few to start pitching job offers to.
Unless these weren't always a part of the grand plan?
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So...what, you think we're recruiting you for something?
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Even if that's not the point of this, I can't imagine everyone leaves here in the end. If they wanted to stay, asking for that would be a reasonable request, wouldn't it?
[It doesn't sound like she's looking for an answer on that, because she already has it. Naoto brought up last week that Juri had made that very offer to her.]
And I imagine it's as true here as anywhere -- those who don't work, don't eat. If someone were to stay here after the game, you'd probably have to find a job for them to perform as well, right? Why not running a game?
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[Well, that was immediate.]
Trust me, none of you guys here would be qualified to run them; the closest is maybe Ferid, and he still wouldn't allowed near them.
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[Just how dangerous? Well, she'd see that the very next day. For now, though, her attention turns back to the pile of stuffed animals that he crafted. What was that saying about idle hands?]
So you have some people who run the games, and some who play them... [... hmm.] Is it just our group, or is there something that splits the two off -- something that'd make it so you'd also never see a potential judge as a player?
[Because she might have a hunch on what that is, given their argument. The one where Ferid took the side against her -- something understandable, given his distance from humanity.]
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