PRIVATE MEETINGS

[andexecutioner]

If you'd like to have a private meeting with the Adjudicator, this is where you should go! The Adjudicator is available at almost all hours of the day; just knock and he'll answer.

Comments are screened for privacy; no eavesdropping, that's rude.

Comments

[andexecutioner]

[His eyes do open at that, though he seems pretty relaxed, given the topic.]

I don't know. Who I might have been at one point doesn't really matter to me all that much. I know there are things that I've probably forgotten; I know some stuff that I shouldn't, given the circumstances. But sometimes what's been left behind is like that for a reason, you know?

Maybe things are better now, maybe they're not. It's hard to say. Do you really think it's important to know one way or another?

[fortunatedetective]

I think it's rather important.

[...]

Then again, maybe I feel that because in the last two months my memories involves me using part of my psyche and identity to fight and use magic. It's impossible for me to not to constantly wonder who I am.

[Naoto smiles and moves her piece. Looks like she's almost doing checkmate. Juri's skill really was 'not that good']

I guess for you it isn't as important as it can be for other people.

[andexecutioner]

[he's so damn bad at this game, naoto]

...Is it something that's important for most people, do you think? Understanding themselves like that.

[It's just a question, not looking for any one answer in particular, though he does seem genuinely curious about it.]

[fortunatedetective]

It's something everyone wonders at some point. Some people spend their entire lives searching for who they are and what they want to do in the world.

[Shrug]

Some have more luck than others on that regard.

[andexecutioner]

Why?

[That's a bit too immediate to be natural; he shakes his head a bit, though, once that's out there.]

I don't see what the point is. Spending your whole life searching for something you might not even succeed at, only for it to mean nothing in the end. Where's the reward in that, what makes it worth it?

[fortunatedetective]

...that's a tough question, and one I'm not sure how to answer.

[It does take her a moment to think of a reply]

I think it's worth it so one can die without regrets. No one wants to die feeling unfulfilled, or leaving unfinished business.

Many want their last moments to be peaceful and calm, and if finding those answers is how they think they'll achieve it...

[...then they'll try]

[andexecutioner]

[He's quiet for a moment at that.]

...So how about you? You think you've achieved that sort of thing for yourself?

[fortunatedetective]

...if I weren't in this place I think I would have.

[There's a move in the chessboard left to finish the game, but Naoto is distracted with all this talk to actually go ahead and do it]

My memories...they show I have grown as a person, and for the first time in many, many years I feel happy with myself! It could be said I found my role in life and I'm ready for what may come.

But then this murder-each-other game started. It doesn't change who I am, but I feel I won't be satisfied until it's over and we're all out of here. I am a detective, the least I should be able to do is solve this all and help everyone.

[...]

It's hard to explain with words.

[andexecutioner]

[And that...that actually seems to get something to click in his head, weirdly enough.]

There's always something else, isn't there? You're happy, and then something changes your circumstances, and that changes you. Changes whether you're satisfied with your life or not.

[...]

It's kind of a mess, but it makes sense.

[fortunatedetective]

You're right about that.

[Finally, checkmate. The chess game is over]

I guess that's how life works. It's always a challenge.

[andexecutioner]

For some people, anyway.

[god, he's so bad at this game...]

Eh, this probably isn't the sort of conversation you were looking for when you came in here.

[fortunatedetective]

It's true I didn't come here expecting to talk about that, but in a way I'm glad it happened. It gives me a lot to think about.

Besides, I don't plan how these visits will go, beyond a couple questions.

‹small› [She likes visiting, if she had to be honest] ‹/small›

[andexecutioner]

[...]

You're...good to talk to.

[I mean, he can't make eye contact when he says it, but that is...probably the closest thing he's come to an actual compliment, good lord.]

[fortunatedetective]

[Did it hurt to say that, Juri? Hahaha! Oh well. The last thing Naoto expected was a compliment, even if it was minor. For a moment Naoto is silent, surprised, but then she does manage to smile a bit]

Back in the first week I had promised myself I'd come here for purely professional reasons, but...I don't know, at some point I started coming here because I felt kind of comfortable talking with you.

I'm not sure how it happened.

[andexecutioner]

[HE SUFFERS SO MUCH. okay not really but being nice to people is hard, no one understands, etc.]

Yeah, well. I don't know either.

[...]

Not like it's. Bad. Or anything. It's not, but...I don't know, I'm not really used to casual conversation with people.

[fortunatedetective]

There was a time not too long ago when I was rather inept at talking to people in a friendly manner. "I'm not interested in 'hanging out', nor I'm interested in you". Now I realize that was rather...blunt of me.

[Naoto is deep in thought]

I was working in a murder case back at home, and through it I got in contact with a group of people of my age. Somehow...we ended working together, and soon turned into friends. I remember feeling so lost and hesitant for so long, not knowing how to react to their attempts to be friendly...but then I got used to it.

[It's not meant to be a lecture of any sorts, or an attempt to tell Juri to change. Seems like she's just sharing her own experiences]

Getting used to it depends on how willing you are to let it happen, and you already said several times you don't want it. I sympathize with that more than you think.

[andexecutioner]

[He shrugs.]

Sometimes I talk to people, but they're not really anyone I'd consider friends. Just people I know. I kind of wonder why they bother sometimes.

[fortunatedetective]

I don't know either. Maybe they think that by reaching to you we'll have better chances to win the game? That'd be a flawed plan. These games aren't won with promises of friendship.

[When has a criminal changed their mind with such sappy ideas? Really.

Naoto stands up, taking the chessboard and the empty cups of coffee]

I'll be back next week, Juri-san. Take care.

[She won't]